Darkness into light: The journey of Antrim’s Maeve Kelly

By Séamas McAleenan

A FEW weeks ago Antrim Camogie shared a promotional video that lasted four and a half minutes.

It traces Maeve Kelly’s battle, physical and mental, from being the 2021 Intermediate Player of the Year through successive injuries, rehabilitation and now a return to the type of form that sees her back enjoying inter-county camogie.

“I knew I was putting myself out there by sharing my story online, and of course I wondered how people would react. That was probably the hardest part,” admits Kelly now.

“But looking back, I’m really proud that I did it. People ask me questions about my recovery all the time, and many don’t realise everything I’ve been through.

“For a long time I felt guilty, useless, unmotivated, and almost like I was a bad person for feeling the way I did. I kept thinking I should just be able to deal with it.

“Sharing my story felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I probably still have a lot more I could say, but the kindness people have shown has been overwhelming. The messages and comments have reminded me that I was strong and resilient, even when I didn’t believe it myself.

Colleen Patterson: A road to recovery

“A lot of people have related to my story because GAA (sic) is an amateur sport, and injured players don’t always have the same support systems that professional athletes do. It’s very easy to find yourself in a dark place, so it’s reassuring to know that others understand.”

Kelly’s problems began a couple of months after she scored 1-5 from play as Antrim beat Kilkenny 2-21 to 2-13 in the Croke Park sunshine. They had lost the 2020 Covid final on a frosty night the previous December in Kingspan Breffni.

“Róisín McCormick and I had been taken on to the Antrim senior panel in the middle of our A Level exams a few years earlier when it was a struggle to get players to train and play for the county. By 2021, we probably had the best players in the county wanting to play and really working together. You could see that from the performance we put on in Croke Park.

“To come that far in such a short period was amazing and we just wanted to push on at senior level in 2022. I was buzzing, we all were. We wanted to really make a mark against the best players in the country.

“A short time after the final I started to feel this dull pain in my foot. I eventually had an MRI scan and discovered I had shattered my navicular bone and had to have two pins inserted. I was out for the rest of the club season and all the 2022 season basically.

“I found it very difficult to deal with missing county. It would take me so long to build myself up to go to a county training session and then I was literally ready to break when I would get home. There are others in the panel who have suffered long-term injuries like Colleen (Patterson) and they would be at training every night encouraging everyone. I found that I just couldn’t be that person.

“I also felt a lot of guilt. Everyone had made the All-Ireland success, yet I was picked out as Player of the Year, going around schools, getting awards here, there, everywhere. Then I could contribute nothing the next year. So, I had to reach out to someone to get some counselling.”

Kelly got the all-clear to go back training in June 2022 and was back playing just as the club championships were getting under way in the autumn. She was flying in the first championship game between Ballycastle and champions Loughgiel.

“I was playing centre-half back, not my usual position, but was having a great game. (Antrim manager) Elaine Dowds was there and I was really enjoying it. Just before half-time, I felt something in my knee. I wanted to sit out the second half but ended up in full-forward. Long story shortened, I had done my ACL.

“I still can’t tell you how I felt when I found out. I felt that mentally I couldn’t put myself through another year of this, never mind the physical rehabilitation. I knew I couldn’t slog out another nine months of this. The body probably could take it. The mind definitely couldn’t.”

A couple of Kelly’s friends had been taken through rehab by Aaron McAufield and they recommended him to her.

“I live in Ballycastle and he wasn’t handy for me. I was in my final year of teaching practice and I just hadn’t the time.

Maeve Kelly is back enjoying her camogie

“But I got back playing two years ago. I was okay, I wasn’t playing anywhere near the level I had been or I wanted to be at. I had this constant fear of picking up another injury.

“So I reached out to Aaron last September. I wanted to feel strong and confident in my body again. I was also struggling with some mental blocks after my ACL injury, and I knew I needed support to rebuild both physically and mentally.

“Aaron is a strength and conditioning coach who specialises in GAA performance, particularly ACL rehabilitation and injury prevention for GAA athletes. His style of training really suited me because every programme was tailored to the individual, while still being delivered in a group setting.

“That meant you got the best of both worlds—you were following a plan designed specifically for you, but you also had the craic with other athletes who understood what you were going through. It was therapeutic, almost a form of counselling.

“The result is that I have had a very good season so far this year. I feel a lot more confident about myself, not waiting for an injury to happen and the season has gone well for Antrim. We learned a lot in Division 1A. We completed three-in-a-row Ulster championships and we are through to an All-Ireland semi-final.”

Doing a video for McAufield’s Lifestyle & Performance Gym was a form of payback but there were residual benefits.

“I finally feel good about myself again and I am able to speak openly without feeling guilty or disappointed in myself. For the first time in a long time, talking about everything felt easy, and instead of feeling ashamed, I actually felt proud of how far I’d come.

“For a long time, I hid my emotions because I thought I had to be strong and convince myself I’d be grand. The reality was that I wasn’t okay.

“Mental health is so important. Talking to someone can make such a difference. It sounds like such a simple thing to do, but at the same time it’s often the hardest step to take. No one should feel like they have to go through difficult times on their own, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.”

“The reaction to the video honestly has been amazing. If sharing my experience can help even one person get through a difficult time, then it’s worth it.”