JOE BROLLY: Roll up, roll up….

BEFORE the throw in, Killarney Dr Crokes’ manager Pat O’Shea looked worried. He had every right to be. Torturing Kerry men is, after all, a cherished Canavan family tradition. God, meanwhile, was smiling and chatting in the stand, as though he knew something the rest of us didn’t. Which I suppose is one of the benefits of being God.

His sons Ruairí and Darragh carried their black box out onto the Newbridge pitch and at the whistle, the magic show began. Darragh started with a right footed point after a bewildering change of direction that flummoxed Gavin White. Next up was the brother, with a sensational long range point off his right. For the third Errigal point, as Darragh slid along the ground he gave a perfect fist pass over his shoulder to the brother who soloed on his right, lulled the defender in, then swerved it over the bar off his left.

A few minutes later, it was Darragh’s turn again. Anything the brother can do, he can do better. He cut in from the left wing on his left foot, then swivelled to his right and scored again, leaving Gavin White wondering why he had bothered taking up football in the first place. It really wasn’t fair on the Kerry men. Perhaps the brothers should be handicapped? Maybe blindfolded or allowed to use only one foot.

In the Ulster final, Kilcoo brought war, throttling the joy out of the two boys. Darragh managed a point and Ruairí, after shipping an early karate kick from one of the Branagan boys, didn’t score from play at all. Against Crokes, they were free men, and so they decided to give the other forwards a day off. Ruairí scored the next point, then Darragh confused White again, electing to go outside him and fist the point.

A minute later, it was Ruairí again. Darragh floated a perfect long kick pass to him and from 40 metres, the young man sent a magnificent swirling kick over the bar.

A minute later, Ruairí scored a free after he was fouled. Then another one a minute later. By half time the score was Canavan Brothers 0-8, Dr Crokes 0-7. After the break, the magic show resumed. Darragh scored a belter off his right after two solo dummies.

Then, Ruairí was fouled out near the sideline on the halfway line. He took the free quickly, a perfect diagonal ball that fooled the defence and landed in Darragh’s chest as he sprinted towards goal. The run in gave us time to savour this sublime moment. Darragh took a toe tap, paused briefly, then hit the net, leaving the ‘keeper standing like a cow looking over a five bar gate. In the 53rd minute with the score 1-10 to 0-13, another Errigal player finally scored.

For his next trick, Darragh took on three Crokes’ defenders, dummied right and left, then accelerated along the end line to fist the point. The problem defenders have with these boys is they have no idea what they might do. One would not be surprised if they pulled a dove out from under their shirt or disappeared altogether. Crokes played superbly as a unit. Their problem was the Canavans. And a terrible clearance from poor Gavin White with 30 seconds to go, which created the equalising point. The weird thing was that as he stood over the free kick, White smiled, knowing there were only 30 seconds left, then proceeded to blow it.

In the first minute of extra time, Darragh scored a point, when a team mate was clean through inside him for an easy palmed goal.

God the father, who was not in the habit of making such mortal errors, rolled his eyes in the stand. Tut tut.

Then suddenly, the brothers ran out of gas. They cramped up. Darragh was limping. Ruairí exhausted. As my mother said, “sure they only have wee short legs.”

It was then that their team mates stepped up. Joe Oguz scored a classic goal, a powerful shot from the 21 to the top corner of the net.

Ben McDonnell fisted a great point. To finish, a fine goal from the sub Charlie Keating.

The trouble with the Canavan brothers is that they make everyone else look clumpy and ordinary.

They always leave you wanting more. Luckily we don’t have to wait long. Their next magic show is in Croke Park this Sunday. Roll up, roll up…