JOE BROLLY:Vote early, vote often

WHEN Professor Niall Moyna said last month that Gaelic football was “probably the most boring game in the world to watch,” he was only repeating something I have been saying for a decade. Something I got lambasted for. “He doesn’t understand the modern game.” “He is a dinosaur.” “The game was just catch and kick when he was playing.” “Unlike him, the game is moving with the times.” “Every game must evolve or die.” “There are already too many rules and he wants more.” By the time I was on my last legs in RTE, I was being chided for my punditry being negative. Basically, I was being asked to deny what my eyes were seeing, to pretend that the games were great. “Wonderful dispossession there by the Donegal defenders. The way five of them swarmed Clifford without fouling was textbook. A great example for all our younger viewers. Coming up to halftime it’s 0-4 to 0-3 but don’t let that fool you, this game is as intriguing as they come.” Instead of words like “Thrilling” or “Epic” the new language was that the game was “Intriguing” or “Fascinating” or my favourite, “A game of chess” (usually played at about the same speed).

Now, everyone is saying it. Commentators. University professors. Managers of blanket defensive teams (Malachy O’Rourke), footballers who won All-Irelands because of blanket defensive teams (Michael Murphy), even RTE pundits, who generally don’t say anything about anything. The point to remember is that coaches will, as Jimmy McGuinness said on Monday, manipulate whatever the rules are to their advantage. When asked by Cahair O’Kane whether he liked the new rules, he said, “It doesn’t matter to me what the rules are.”

The problem is that over the last decade, it is the coaches that have dictated how the game is played. The spectacle and the entertainment are not relevant to them.

I was interested in the two recent Connacht senior football semi-finals. By halftime in the Pearses (Roscommon) v Mohill (Leitrim) game, the scoreline was 0-3 to 0-2. The Pearses manager Frank Canning (one of the legendary Portumna hurling Cannings) said on the radio that it was “the worst half of football I have ever seen” and no one was disagreeing. The other semi-final was no better. In that stinker, Ballina Stephenites were playing (I use the word “playing” in the loosest sense) Sligo’s Coolera Strandhill. At halftime, the score was 0-3 to 0-3. At full time, it was 0-7 to 0-7. After extra time, it was 0-9 to 0-9 and the scoreboard operator had fallen asleep. The penalties were the only drama in a Jimmy McGuinness inspired nightmare, Coolera playing with 14 men inside their 45, swarming, not fouling, handpassing the ball back and sideways, pointing and shouting a lot (in the modern game, because the crowd is so quiet, the players’ shouting is often the only noise). Emma Gallagher, writing for the Independent, wrote that afterwards “there were tears of joy.” There were certainly tears after another game to be added to the vast catalogue of unwatchable games played in the last decade.

James McCarthy said after he retired last week that he would love Gaelic football to be played more like hurling. He talked of a return to the days of man to man football and contests all over the field. The new rules being voted on next weekend will not achieve that, but they are a crucial starting point in freeing our game from the dystopia of the last decade, a decade where the game has become so formulaic and dull that a man of the match or an All Star is impossible to select. An era where a corner back can get an All-Star without ever having to mark anyone, or where a forward can be Player of the Year without getting a shot off in an All-Ireland final (James O’Donoghue in 2014). A game where it is impossible to say who has played well, only that a player has made very few mistakes. The best teams are now a dull, predictable, boring collective, with good penalty takers.

The bottom line is that the delegates this weekend have no choice but to vote for these proposals. Truly, the game cannot get any worse. The new cynical/tactical foul/dissent penalties are excellent, with the ball being brought forward 50 metres. With them, time wasting will be banished. The new black card offence of deliberately holding up a player (teams had become expert in this and were obviously practising it in training) is another vital contribution. Instead of a referee having to agonise over whether a player took another player to ground using his bodyweight, the black card offence will now be obvious. I also very much like the rule that like rugby, the team captain will be allowed to speak to the referee to seek clarification of any decision. This encourages real respect and allows the team captain to be treated with dignity and equality. The proposal that the ball must be handed respectfully to an opponent when a free is conceded is another good one. If it isn’t, the 50 metre penalty applies.

The substantive new playing rules should also all be voted in. If they were enough to convince Michael Murphy to come out of retirement, they should convince the delegates.

When my aunt Maura was the election clerk during the Hunger Strikes, she advised the people of the town to “Vote early, vote often.” I advise the delegates at congress this weekend to do the same.