Pauric Grimes: Searching to find your ‘why’

LAST week I fired a few difficult questions your way and one response I received got me to thinking. I suggested that the journey begins with a ‘why’.

Your reason behind wanting to better yourself. Your reason to justify the difficult decisions. The purpose that defines your entire decision making process.

And then I got this – “Pauric, I can see where you’re coming from. It makes sense when I’m reading it but when I try and do it I really struggle. I don’t think I have a why. I don’t have kids. I’ve no real ambitions to go further up the ladder in work. I know I need to lose a bit of weight. And I do miss the craic with the lads I’d have had when I played. But is that enough? That doesn’t feel like a great ‘why’ in the way you’re suggesting.”

I had to take pause on that one. First because I hope that no one reading thinks I, or anybody else, judges them on whatever their reasoning to lose weight, get fitter, push for a promotion, etc is. Your why is yours and yours alone. No better or worse than anyone else’s. Yours to own and action as you see fit.

Secondly, if you really don’t feel like it’s enough, if you think you’ll not be able to be disciplined as you need to be or get motivated by the idea of progressing towards that goal then it might be worth your while changing how you approach things.

Instead of having a vague idea that you want to become the best version of yourself but with no real clarity as to what that looks like in practice, how about this – focus on an area that you feel inadequate.

And that could be anything. It could be that you aren’t happy with the few extra pounds you’ve put on since you stopped playing. It could be that you’re feeling like without being a part of a team that you’ve nothing positive to contribute anymore. It could be that you’re feeling less confident in who you are as for so long you identified as a player and now feel like an imposter whenever a conversation about the game starts up.

We all have inadequacies, even those of us who seem to have it all figured out. So if it’s proving difficult to nail down your ‘why’, then how about you put your focus, effort and energy in to addressing whatever area it is that you’re currently feeling inadequate about and see where that takes you,

That might sound like a daunting task so the first thing, and most important part of the journey is taking the first step. Implementing that initial change in behaviour. If you can identify the smallest possible step you can take to move towards your goal then you’re giving yourself the best chance of success.