THE myth is that Gaelic football analysis is now more in depth than it has ever been before. The truth is that it has never been more empty. False politeness. Q&As off the shelf, with everyone saying the same things. Clichés instead of thoughts. Bland statements of the obvious. I watched the RTE coverage on Sunday […]
DAVID Coldrick, one of our two best referees (the other being David Gough), has been dropped from the panel for the upcoming championship after “failing the referees’ fitness test.” Croke Park sources have revealed that the referee, who went into the test with a “muscle strain”, failed because he didn’t reach the line in time […]
NO-ONE remembers who won the league. Except the Memory Man Jimmy Magee, and he is dead. I can just about remember that Mayo won the league a fortnight ago. The details of the game escape me. I know it was Galway. After that, my mind is a blank. On Sunday, Mayo faced Roscommon, in Castlebar, […]
A RECENT circular was emailed from GAA HQ to every club and county delivering a cruel corporate message. “Ard Comhairle bulletin 25ú Márta 2023 Meetings of An Coiste Bainistíochta and Ard Chomhairle took place last night and today respectively. The following decision was taken: To prohibit the promotion of charities, campaigns etc on playing gear; […]
KING Midas was asked to judge a musical competition between two Gods: Pan (pipes) and Apollo (harp). He agreed, which turned out to be the worst decision since Paddy Russell blew up God for picking the ball off the ground in the ’95 final. The two musical Gods insisted Midas choose a winner. Balance was […]
VIKTOR Frankl said, “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” Dublin have forgotten that. The striving. The struggling. The glory. It is all gone. Now, they are just bores. Tensionless, dull, risk-free bores. They looked okay during the warm-up to be fair. […]
THE boundaries of legalised thuggery are disappearing. Fast. The latest addition to the “Just shy of attacking each other with knives” genre, is the Power Slap League. Two people face each other. The ‘victim’ stands perfectly still, hands by his side, looking straight ahead. His opponent then slaps him on the face as hard as […]
BILL Russell couldn’t find a university basketball scholarship. He was so uncoordinated in High School and had such atrocious basic skills that none of the good basketball schools wanted him. Eventually, he went to the San Francisco University and joined the unknown San Francisco Dons, who didn’t even have their own gym. He arrived there […]
I CANNOT remember seeing a bad match at the Athletic Grounds. Something about it brings footballers and supporters to life. In the same way as Donegal cannot lose at Ballybofey, even if they pick a tall u-14 in goals and half the team has hangovers, the Gods have decreed that the Athletic Grounds will bring […]
CORK suffer from acute solorunitis. The symptoms are highly contagious, but easily spotted. Sufferer takes possession from hand-pass. Puts head down. Solos hard until runs into something or someone. Looks up, but not before then. Hand-passes to fellow sufferer, who puts head down, solos hard until runs into something or someone. Looks up, but not […]
