AT the weekend Ballyholland Harps, and Meabh Cunningham in particular, were responsible for organising and co-ordinating the running of the second annual ‘Mo Fearon Memorial Tournament’ which is an over 35s competition in memory of Mo, who was corner back for Ballyholland for over a decade before losing his life all too early to illness a few years back.

The tournament itself is a 7s competition and teams from all over the north attended. Last year’s winners The Loup were back with Paul McFlynn again orchestrating things for them. Bellaghy made the long trip from Derry and then there was local interest from south Armagh in the form of this year’s winners Dromintee, Killeavy and Carrickcruppen.

Throw into the mix quite a large number of Down clubs, including current county champions Kilcoo and local sides Ballyholland, Shamrocks, Newry Mitchels, Burren, Saval and Mayobridge, and it all added some spice to the occasion.

To say it got competitive is pretty much an understatement but the great thing was, as soon as the final whistle went the craic and banter in the club was phenomenal and all was forgotten.

I lined out for Newry Mitchels and the highlight of our day was absolutely dismantling our city neighbours Newry Shamrocks in the group stages, a win worth waiting for and more than made up for the 20 years of hurt they previously inflicted on us.

As I looked around the pitch though, the one striking feature that struck me was the amount of young children who had turned up to watch their daddies in action. A contrasting image considering it’s normally the other way around, but apart from one young lad shouting to me “Poacher you’re useless” there was no verbals from any of the young people in attendance, just plenty of sniggers from the wives and girlfriends.

This really did make me sit up and made me think about our roles as parents in our own children’s coaching environment.

Just as recently as the end of last month, an article emerged in a local newspaper in Leicester to say underage football is so out of control at this moment in time in England that someone could be killed, the main source of aggravation is coming from the aggressive behaviour of parents.

There has been incidents of parents threatening to stab referees, another head butting incident, young players being man handled, damage to changing rooms and over 10 games have been abandoned due to out of control parents.

You may be reading this thinking ah sure that’s over in England, that’s soccer, that would never happen in the GAA.

I have witnessed first-hand in the last year at u-8, u-10 and u-12 tournaments, out of control parents putting unnecessary pressure on the coaches and more importantly on the players, none more so than their own children.

I know we see coaching courses advertised regularly and child protection courses which is brilliant but I really feel every club should run a series of courses for parents in how to conduct themselves at underage games or training.

There are ways in which clubs and coaches can educate parents to become better sporting parents, here are a few:

1. Be Supportive of the Children. Don’t pressurise them into playing and support the decisions they make both on the field and off the field.

2. Give positive praise. Know when to show praise and when to keep quiet, and don’t forget to praise other players on the team and also the opposition, show appreciation of good play.

3. Be Calm and Composed. If your child gets tackled aggressively or is involved in something contentious, let the referee deal with it and keep control of your emotions.

4. Promote the process of taking part and being involved. Don’t talk about “you have to win this one.” One of the main reasons children leave sport that pressure of we have to win.

5. Allow the child to express themselves and play their own game, let the child make decisions and make mistakes. If they make mistakes they learn, don’t try and play the game for them.

6. Engage positively with other parents not just from your own club but from other clubs. Positive relationships help create a more positive environment for everyone.

7. Celebrate participation. Even when there is a defeat, try to put a smile on the children’s face straight away. Remember you didn’t lose the game, you are there to support and help.

8. Provide an excellent role model to the child by watching your body language and your language. Remember, children will not always remember what you said but will remember how your words made them feel.

I look back at my own experience in sport in my younger years. I loved all sports, Gaelic, soccer, athletics, golf, tennis, cycling, swimming. I tried everything and came across some fantastic coaches along the way that I have nothing but admiration and respect for.

Fortunately for me I am happy to say, the greatest coach I ever had was my father. Remember coaches are important in the sporting development of the child but do not underestimate the influence that the parents will have in the sporting development and experiences of the child.

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