I RANG Frank McGuigan’s life-long friend John Joe O’Neill this week. “Lonely Housewives.com,” he said, “How can we help you?” When I had stopped laughing, he said, “If you are a lady seeking to join, we will require your death certificate madam. We don’t want an angry husband walking in on a client.” When I […]
MY mother was very annoyed when Paudie Clifford chatted his way through the national anthem. She is a religious woman who keeps large bottles of holy water inside the front door to throw over visitors’ cars when they are leaving. As my brother Proinsias says, “you need to wind the windows up quickly.” “I hope […]
THE decision to hold the All-Ireland draw last week turned the provincial finals (except Connacht) into the biggest anti-climax since Cork football. During the week, I posed the question in the Trinity Old Boys Group (free staters to a man): What is wrong with Cork football? The answers came flooding in: Hurling. Donal Óg. Frank […]
‘We, the current Mayo team, request that the Mayo County Board takes steps to remove Pat Holmes and Noel Connelly from their roles as team managers with immediate effect…We, the players, have set ourselves extremely high standards in terms of team organisation and management and as a squad we do not believe they have met […]
The All-Ireland football final, 18th September 2011, Croke Park. It is the 70th minute. The scores are level: Kerry 1-11 Dublin 1-11. The third official has just raised the board to show that there will only be 2 minutes of injury time. Dublin have the kick out. Cluxton kicks long to Dublin’s number 6 Ger […]
WHO can win the All-Ireland? Not Derry. We just solo run and handpass. The boys are still Rory Gallagher’s team still playing the old rules. Ciarán Meenagh, our third Tyrone manager in a row, was Rory’s assistant and is therefore acceptable to the group in a way that Mickey Harte and Paddy Tally never were. […]
JACK O’Connor said before the final: “Yerra, we were only aiming to avoid relegation, so we are all a bit surprised to be in a league final. I suppose we got the bit of luck here and there along the way and yerra, we are in Croke Park again and no harm.” He went on […]
I PLAYED on Derry teams against him for a decade, but the first time I met Bernie Flynn was at level six in Croke Park for RTÉ’s Saturday Game. I can’t remember who was playing but it was Bernie’s TV debut and he was excited. (Note to reader: Bernie is always excited.) “You look terrific,” […]
TWO months ago, Fadi and Jumaa Assi were gathering firewood outside their tent in the Khan Younis camp. After it’s annihilation, almost all of Gaza’s population now live in tents. Their father Abu, who is paralysed and wheelchair bound, was waiting for them anxiously inside the tent when he heard neighbours screaming. An Israeli drone […]
CONOR ‘Sketches’ Moore has a skit where he mocks me as a name-dropper. I don’t know where he got that from. On the evening of the 2024 All-Ireland final between Armagh and Galway, I chatted with the Taoiseach, then took a phone call from President Biden. That night, I had a drink with the music […]
